Sigh - one that is both happy and one that is beginning to feel the pains I knew would eventually come. It’s almost Christmas, and with that comes lots of extra family time. And suprisingly, or not, family members eyes being teared up when you come in the room. You try not to cry, just to be strong - for yourself and for them. Because you know if you cry when they cry, then it will go on for a few minutes and everybody will cry. Nobody ever told me this would be easy, so I didn’t expect it to be. Especially the conversations with my Mom about not being here next Christmas. It’s not all bad though, because I’m suffering for the cause of Jesus. People will see how much His love means because I will not turn back, but do the thing many have deemed impossible. I will leave those I love dearly, for those who are unaware that Christ loves them even more.
I think the tears are a good thing actually, because without them there would be no feeling. The hurt and pain I’m experiencing is real. And feeling these is only human. This time is definitely making a weak person strong in His promise and His love.
Tonight I will go to the Christmas play practice that I’ve participated in ever since I remember. But it will be different this year, because I’m in the audience. But that’s a good thing, because it means I’ve been too busy to go to play practice because God’s been rockin’ my world with fundraising and other events. I will most likely babysit some awesome kids tonight and give away some more silly bands, just because I want to. I’m hoping to get some pictures of those sweet people in the Christmas play so that I can fill up my scrapbook for Africa with familiar faces. So, get ready to smile, people. Get ready. :)
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