The End of Me

"All the times that I’ve failed, when my doubt has prevailed, these are the moments I’m giving to you. Cause I can’t be ashamed, no I can’t fear the pain when it comes time to be living proof. So the world may see that the captives are free. You have been Heaven sent to us. I'll be fearless for You!" -- Building 429 "Fearless"

"I was the one to call the shots, dream-eyed dreams, heart and soul - answered only to myself. Never giving up control. Until the one day that brought me to my knees, and I would never be the same. Once upon a time the story goes, I laid it all down and let it go to lose it all. Took a step of faith and said goodbye, and everything I had I left behind to find true life.When all I longed for I found finally at the end of me. And like an answer to a prayer, Jesus you were there, calling me to live, to die, to give, to gain. And I'll never be the same..."--- Building 429 "End of Me"

Last night as I lay in my bed, trying to drift off to sleep, I realized (while listening to my Zune) that in order for GOD to use me, I MUST give everything over to Him. Sure, I may have dreams, I may have a plan. BUT, He knows what is best for me. And if those dreams are of Him, then they will come to fruition. It will happen. I want to be a writer, I want to teach. BUT, right now I feel an overwhelming desire to give everything over to Him. EVERYTHING. I don't know what is going to happen this summer (I'll explain in detail in a later post), but I do know that GOD is going to be at the center of it, not me. Not anymore. I'm tired of giving in to me, to my fears, to my what-ifs and hows.

Jesus, I pray that as I humble myself before You that this overwhelming desire to know more of You will be given to me. For you said, seek and I shall find.