Wow. What a weekend...

Oh my goodness. What a weekend. The last two days have been the BEST two days of my life. EVER.
I attended the Chi Alpha Spring Retreat on Saturday. I finally realized that GOD is calling me to go to Mali next January. Yep, I said Mali. West Africa. One of the poorest nations on earth. Here is copy and paste version of the email I sent my sister Kimberly:
Wow. What an eye opening day yesterday! Okay, I found out that the Mali missions experience is NOT for this summer. And you know, I have no idea where I got that from that it was this summer. I'm a planner. I was planning. And, boy, don't we know that's the wrong thing to do :)) Last night in the evening service after I found out that the summer trip wasn't going to happen this year, I was devastated. It doesn't begin until the beginning of 2011. I knew that this was something GOD had told me to do - (b/c He told me "what I've shown you, GO!"). So yeah, I wanted to leave the building right then and there (I was thinking that to myself).I was almost in tears. And then the evening service started. And something clicked inside me. I had PLANNED this summer. I had planned it for myself. The key was letting GOD do the work. SO, like I was saying something clicked. Something major. The speaker was speaking on getting out of your boat (like Peter). Tradition, comfort, security, etc. I could't begin to imagine how I could still go on this trip. When would there be another slot of time for me to go? I'm graduating in Dec, then getting a job in Jan. Needless to say, GOD showed me that my boat that I needed to leave behind was tradition and the fear of not having money to pay back my student loans (you have to begin 6 mnths after graduation). The tradition of settling down, doing what everyone does, following the American dream. I realized that my security was holding me back. His wife then said you can either be miserable with yourself the rest of your life, or let GOD lead you into an amazing journey. I don't want to have regrets. I don't care about the American dream. I want to do what GOD has called me to do.
So, GOD willing, next January I'll be going to Mali. That's right - I'm not applying for a job after graduation for the next school semester. I'm not. I'm sick of giving in to fear, to living the secure and comfortable life. I'm sick of doing it. And I'm not going to do it anymore. I just can't. It breaks my heart to think I'd get married, have kids, and live comfortably and completely MISS what GOD wants to do in my life. Call me crazy (and boy do I feel it coming on from some people around me), but I'm following GOD to where He is saying He is. I'm following His plan, not mine. For how long it is, I don't know. Only He knows.

Okay, that great experience was yesterday. Here is tonight:

Tonight at my home church we had a Women's Ministries service and a special speaker, Earline Butts. She is a very elderly lady. Well, she prophesied over me. Yeah, WHOA! That has never happened to me before. I thought it never would. But it did - tonight. I was crying like a baby. It was so real, the things she said were like GOD was speaking to me directly, right for that moment, right in my situation that I am in right now in life. It was amazing. She started out asking how old I was. I told her twenty two. Then she said something about that I was going through something right now, and that GOD has His hand on me. She said that whatever GOD was showing me that He was going to make a way. GOSH, I was shaking afterwards. How AMAZINGGGG is GOD?!! The last two days have been the best days of my entire life. Profound things have been shown to me. GOD has moved in profound ways. It's amazing what can happen when you let GOD know that you're giving Him everything.

Yeah. I had to copy and paste the emails b/c I am at a loss for words now. But, boy, is it SO AMAZINGGG!!

break my heart for what breaks Yours. Everything I have for your kingdom's cause as I walk from earth into eternity. --- "Hosanna" by Hillsong United.

I have more to tell you guys, but it'll have to wait until tomorrow :))

THE ULTIMATE PRAISE REPORT!!

GREAT NEWS!!! My cousin Kay came through the triple bypass surgery great!!

Jesus, You are stronger, more than ANY other! Hallelujah, what a Savior! --- Laura Story.

Thankful Thursday

I am SO thankful that GOD has placed Africa on my heart... in my dreams... in my thoughts. I can't express to you how much Africa consumes me, heart and soul, mind and body. I KNOW that He placed it there. I didn't used to care. I mean I could care less (another post for another day) a couple of years ago. If you had asked me about Africa, I probably would've changed the subject to be honest with you. Now, I'm going to be the conversation starter with the topic of Africa :))
Africa is so beautiful - landscape and people. Everything about them screams beauty to me. Their hope in the trying times. Their suffering that goes so deep, yet they still press on. Africa, I know GOD placed you in my life for a reason. And I'm so thankful that He has used you to open up my eyes to His word.

"Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." James 1:27 (NLT)

Thank You, GOD, for opening my eyes. I'll never be the same.

"Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do."
Ephesians 5:17

I have heard GOD whisper to me to GO, and I will. But there are things in my near future that right now seem to leave me at a crossroads. I have to pray about it and seek GOD's guidance. I want it to be His plan, whatever I do.

jesus is holding out his hand.

Jesus is holding out His hand. He wants to show you things you've never seen before. Things you've never dreamed of. Things that would blow your mind. Will you take His hand, and say yes, LORD - I choose to believe that You're all I will EVER need?

"Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" Matthew 14:31


"Everybody’s scared to death when they decide to take that step out on the water - it’ll be alright. Life is SO much more than what your eyes are seeing. You will find your way if you keep believing."
--- Kutless "What Faith Can DO"

Holden's 6th Bday

My nephew Holden celebrated his sixth birthday this past Wednesday, and had a birthday party with some of his classmates today. It's hard to believe he is already SIX! I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. I received the call from my mom while at school that my sister was in labor/or had already had Holden. After school, my sister and I drove to see this new little nephew. He was gorgeous. Sweet. Holden Sheppard B. You've gotta love him :))

This afternoon at his party I took the opportunity of catching some shots of his party decor and also of Holden playing around on the firetruck that was brought to his party for the kids to look at/play on. Holden is set on becoming a fireman one day when he grows up. Now, I know that a lot of little guys say they want to be a fireman, but Holden is serious. It has been his dream ever since I can remember. He does THE BEST siren impression I've ever heard. He knows ALL of the names of the different trucks/equipment. I'm sure if his dad would have let him he would have driven it around town this afternoon :))
Here are some pictures of six year old Holden & his party.

I will trust in YOU wherever I am found...

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9


I am a stone
Stuck here in the ground
Holding onto nothing
Why
Is comfortable uncomfortable right now?
I was made for more
California, far from me
Across the desert to the sea
A million miles away to
Somewhere I don't know
Lift my feet from where I stand
Down the street to foreign land
Anywhere you lead me I will go
Still
Before You now
But I'm not standing still
Move me now according to Your will
I am ready for...
California, far from me
Across the desert to the sea
A million miles away to
Somewhere I don't know
Lift my feet from where I stand
Down the street to foreign land
Anywhere you lead me I will go
I will trust in You
Wherever I am found
Send me somewhere, Lord

Avalon "California"

another praise report!!!

What an AWESOME GOD we serve!!!! My cousin Kay is still improving by everyday! And today they have taken the venilator completely off, the balloon pump out of her leg, and she is now a canidate for heart surgery (still not scheduled)!! I have to say again, WHAT AN AWESOME GOD WE SERVE!! NEVER underestimate the POWER of prayer! NEVER! I used to, and believe me, I DON'T anymore. Not after what He has done for Kay. He has turned her situation around to what was supposed to be a few hours left, and she is continuing to do things I KNOW the doctors were thinking, if they didn't say outright, that she would never do. They were saying she was done. BUT, GLORY BE TO GOD, she is getting stronger every day. Please, continue to pray for her and that GOD would continue to restore her health, and that when the heart surgery comes they will find that the blockages are gone. Thank you SO much for praying, but please don't stop now. GOD is doing a mighty work in her.
GOD IS AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGG!

what a praise report!!!

GOD is amazingggggggggggggg!!! Really! My cousin Kay, whom I told you guys about yesterday - totally on her last few hours of life, bleeding to death, needing a triple bypass- well, she is headed in the total opposite direction now!! Prayer is SO powerful. Never underestimate the power of our GOD!! Here is an update on her condition. Although she is not out of the ballpark yet, she has made a complete turn around. The bleeding has stopped/or very close, she is able to breathe some on her on now (she is still on the venilator, but yesterday it was doing ALL her breathing for her), they have taken her off two blood pressure medicines!! GLORY BE TO GOD! Please don't stop praying for her! She has a long road to go, but the way things look right now she is hanging in there. Praise GOD!
Yesterday, the doctors hit a wall and said she had a few hours left. Now, they see what GOD can do. Nothing but GOD has turned this around for her.

urgent prayer request

I ask you guys to please be in prayer for a miracle for my cousin Kay. She is in her fifties, had a hysterectomy to remove cancer, and a couple of days later had a heart attack. She is now bleeding internally, and too weak for the surgery she would need to correct things, as her heart is only working at 10%. She needs a miracle.

Daniel saved from the mouths of the lions...

I honestly, truly, FULLY believe that my GOD is the same GOD yesterday, today and forever! It struck me today that there are SO many people in the "church" today who tell little ones in Sunday School/Children's Church of how GOD saved Daniel from the mouths of the lions. But do they really believe it? They sure don't live like it.
Now, please, don't get me wrong. No one's perfect, and I know sometimes it's hard -VERY hard - to live with this kind of faith. BUT, I know it can be done. I truly believe that my GOD is the same GOD that Daniel served, that closed the mouths of those lions who preyed upon him. I KNOW that GOD can protect, save, and close the mouths of the lions in my life. Whether they be real, live lions or something else. Fear, lack of faith, etc.
GOD has given me more faith in these first two months of this year than I ever thought possible! It is amazing how your faith can grow when you seek Him with everything you have. I always heard about it. Now I know. And it is amazinggg! He is amazinggg! He walks with me through fire just like He did the three Hebrew boys. I know He has placed upon my heart to build up my Ark (chest for my future children). I know He is my Healer just as He healed the blind, the lame and raised Lazarus from the dead. He hasn't changed, people! He is still the amazing I AM that Moses encountered, still the great and only King who knows my every need, my every desire, thought and has planned my steps even before I take them. He knows when He will need to pick me up along the way and carry me. He knows why I have the desire for Africa in my heart SO heavy. He knows what will become of it, what things will transpire from this summer (more later I promise!). And last but not least, He is my portion, all I need. All I need is found in Him, ALL I NEED. And that is the ONLY thing that is allowing me to have the faith I do have. Faith enough to bring me to Africa. No matter the plane flight, no matter everything else - the what ifs and how to get theres. They don't matter. All that I need is in Him. More than enough. And that is my focus. He will provide.
If anyone has any questions (for I don't claim to be a spiritual expert of sorts) or wants to talk, please email me at fleawriter8703@yahoo.com. This life is too short, too important to go through it not knowing Him or the grace and mercy He so freely gives. Your life will never be the same once you know Him. Trust me.

So yeah, here's a great post...

Here's a great post about your true valentine by dawn.

Haha.

I knew that I couldnt' do it. LOL. I was trying to post every day the month of February, and of course I missed yesterday... LOL.

Well, on a better note, I got a new phone today for free (after the mail-in rebates)! An LG bliss. I love it! My other phone was acting up. When I would text or call someone, just typing 1 number in caused 6 or 7 other random symbols or numbers to pop up simultaneously. So, I got the US Cellular Valentine special - BOGO! The other one went to my sister.

Right now, the bottom of my foot is throbbing. I'm not sure what I've done to it, though. It is swollen bigger than my other foot. Hmm, maybe it'll be better in the morning.

Haha! What a random post...

Wow.

Wow. Yeah, wow...
GOD is just SO amazing and I've had a great conversation with a sister of mine. Sometimes, I feel like no one understands what I'm going through (don't we all?) And then, GOD reminds me that He places certain people in your life for a reason. They are all a part of His plan.

Love you, Kimberly!

This post may appear scatterbrained, but I just wanted to make sure that I remember the day we had this conversation, and to remember that she believes in me and what GOD has shown me. For certain reasons, I'm going to keep the conversation we had private for now. But trust me, one day I'll share :))

I find my life when I give it away...

I always wanted to be free
‘Til I was bound and then
I always wanted my own way
‘Til I saw that I find my life when
I lose it
You make me come alive
You make me come alive
I found the secret
It’s only when I let go of what I want in this life
You make me come alive
I used to think that me, myself and I were all that mattered
But You’ve shown me all this world can give
Cannot compare to the joy that comes from
Giving away
And as I follow after You
Now I need to
Leave my past, myself behind
This I will do
I always wanted to be free
‘Til I was bound and then
I always wanted my own way
‘Til I saw You
‘Til I saw You
"Alive" --- Rebecca St. James

The End of Me

"All the times that I’ve failed, when my doubt has prevailed, these are the moments I’m giving to you. Cause I can’t be ashamed, no I can’t fear the pain when it comes time to be living proof. So the world may see that the captives are free. You have been Heaven sent to us. I'll be fearless for You!" -- Building 429 "Fearless"

"I was the one to call the shots, dream-eyed dreams, heart and soul - answered only to myself. Never giving up control. Until the one day that brought me to my knees, and I would never be the same. Once upon a time the story goes, I laid it all down and let it go to lose it all. Took a step of faith and said goodbye, and everything I had I left behind to find true life.When all I longed for I found finally at the end of me. And like an answer to a prayer, Jesus you were there, calling me to live, to die, to give, to gain. And I'll never be the same..."--- Building 429 "End of Me"

Last night as I lay in my bed, trying to drift off to sleep, I realized (while listening to my Zune) that in order for GOD to use me, I MUST give everything over to Him. Sure, I may have dreams, I may have a plan. BUT, He knows what is best for me. And if those dreams are of Him, then they will come to fruition. It will happen. I want to be a writer, I want to teach. BUT, right now I feel an overwhelming desire to give everything over to Him. EVERYTHING. I don't know what is going to happen this summer (I'll explain in detail in a later post), but I do know that GOD is going to be at the center of it, not me. Not anymore. I'm tired of giving in to me, to my fears, to my what-ifs and hows.

Jesus, I pray that as I humble myself before You that this overwhelming desire to know more of You will be given to me. For you said, seek and I shall find.

the orphan...

It breaks my heart to think these two little ones may not even have arms to wrap around them at night and tell them that they love them and they are special.

My faith in what GOD can do is going to get me there...

Somewhere, something is calling for you. Two worlds, one family. Trust your heart. --- Tarzan.

i'm loving it!

I'm SO excited about the future! My mom, my sister and I just went house hunting today at one house ( JUST LOOKING). I love to plan, so yeah, I had fun! Cute house :))

p.s. the thought of graduating this December has me kicking things in gear! lol.

pic

I couldn't help but share this picture I saw. TOO CUTE FOR WORDS!

Hallelujah!

You know, call me crazy, but I'm feeling a little better about getting on a plane :))

The pictures as promised...

Here are the two items I am adding to my Ark :))

These two pair of pjs came as a set. How cute are they?!

And the bottom half of this little dress is "satin-y".

Like I've said before, all these items are on clearance :) These were a little more expensive than those I had purchased before, BUT, I couldn't resist :)

My little commentary...

Even though people laughed and mocked Noah, he kept building, for he knew that GOD had something in store. He knew he must keep his faith, and build this ark even when the lands were dry and no rain was in sight.

Continuing to build my ark...

So, how about the other day I saw THE cutest little dress for a little girl at Target, and THE cutest footsie pajamas for a little baby boy. And they were on clearance. Yep, you know what I did. I bought it for my Ark. And if you haven't read that post, here it is http://nataligw.blogspot.com/2009/09/i-have-been-thinking-all-week-about.html . I'll post pictures later tonight. I don't buy stuff often, just when I feel that I need to keep building for what is coming :)

You, GOD, make me want to be brave...

"So long status quo, I think I just let go. You make me wanna be brave." -- Nichole Nordeman "Brave".

Speaking to the orphaned/widowed, "Your courage asks me what I'm afraid of, and what I know of love." -- Sarah Groves "I Saw What I Saw"

"You walk with me through fire..." Kari Jobe "Healer"

"If GOD hadn't been for us - all together now, Israel, sing out! - If GOD hasn't been for us when everyone went against us, we would have been swallowed alive by their violent anger. Swept away by the flood of rage, drowned in the torrent; we would have lost our lives in the wild, raging water. Oh, blessed be GOD! He didn't go off and leave us. He didn't abandon us defenseless, helpless as a rabbit in a pack of snarling dogs. We've flown free from their fangs, free of their traps, free as a bird. Their grip is broken; we're free as a bird in flight. GOD's strong name is our help, the same GOD who made heaven and earth."
Psalm 124 [The Message version]

joshua 1:9

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your GOD will be with you wherever you go..." Joshua 1:9

Tell me, why am I so scared of a plane? It isn't because of the beautiful scenery outside of the window. It isn't because someone may have a bomb [b/c I know that I would be with my Father in Heaven if that did happen :))],and it definitely is not because I am scared of getting lost. All those things are things I can deal with. So why then?

I am going to be honest here. The last time I was on a plane[for 1 hr 45 minutes] I clammed up, sweated like crazy, felt like I was going to choke and felt very dizzy in a way. I just want to ask a little favor of my blogger friends,and that is this: could you please pray with me that my fear of flying will subside? I know, that I know, that I know that is a scheme of Satan. He doesn't want me to travel. He doesn't want me to go to Africa this summer. Because he knows that GOD's hand is in it, that there is something he can't control - GOD working in people's lives to orchestrate wonders. I know that GOD can suppress these feelings that the Devil throws my way when I am on a plane. So if you would, please join me in prayer for exactly that. Thank you guys!

I know the Lion of the tribe of Judah can protect me!

what a great post about excuses!

My bloggie friend, Amy, wrote an amazing post. Click here to read it!