sometimes it's the little things.

last thursday as i was bringing my sister's cat, izzie, to the apartment from my parent's house - an hour away - i learned something. something profound. i'm beginning to see that it's the little things that God wants to reveal Himself to us a lot of the time. it doesn't have to be loud, bold and huge, but subtle and sweet. the comforting little warm and fuzzy feelings. the oh wows. the finally-get-its.

i was driving (safely as possible :D ), and izzie was in my lap. to say she was hysterical would be an understatement. poor thing, she was panting and hypervenitlating. never have i seen a cat do that before. her heart was beating a gazillion miles a minute. so i did all i knew to do, i allowed her to lay in my lap. i would rub her back and pat her like a little baby. she stuck her head completely under my arm and just sat there, still panting and meowing. i kept softly whispering to her, i'm here izzie. i've got you. you're okay, sweetie. you're okay.

and it hit me - God loves me even more than that. He is doing the same thing to me when i become overwhelmed and more. izzie never really calmed down that much. a little, but not much. i'm not sure she trusted me to keep her safe. a little, but not all the way.

and it was like God was saying, sweet one, I've got you. you're with Me and you're okay. you're okay. no matter where you go I've got you. just rest in that, daughter.
and then something else hit me. do i trust Him? even thought this "car ride" to Mali is scary and unfamiliar and sometimes downright worthy of good cry, do i trust that He's with me and that i have nothing to fear? it was then that i realized how much i can trust in Him. izzie couldn't trust me because i'm human and i'm not perfect. i'll fail her, you'd better bet on it. but my Father, oh yes, my Father can be trusted completely.

and as izzie snuggled underneath my arm i was reminded that i'm under His wing. and i can rest there. rest in the assurance that He has me and i'm okay. no. matter. what. that although things may be scary and unfamiliar i can choose to trust in Him and take His hand and just rest in who He is, rebuking anything that would try to deter me otherwise. nothing, and i mean nothing can ever separate me from Him or His love, and in that comes a peace and rest. a peace that i can't explain. and a rest that does my soul good. sure, there will be times when i will most likely give in to the fear, as i'm human and that's what humans do, but when i feel those times coming on i start to feel myself becoming reassured just when i think of who He is. and then i trust Him and choose not to let the fear get a foothold in my life. but to know Who i serve and Who is with me.

is it just me, or do you get chills when you realize Who He is? just sit there and think a minute. He is the same One of abraham, isaac, and jacob, of moses, joseph, and joshua and caleb. of rahab. of ruth and boaz. of deborah. of esther. of david and solomon. of hannah. of samuel. He was with them. oh yes, and He will be with me. and not only do i boast in the God of all those people, but in my God who i know personally. whom i love and loves me back. who i hunger for more of. who pursues my soul and my love. the One who never left me nor forsook me, but kept knocking at the door of my heart. who i speak to daily and has spoken to me - sometimes oh so loudly and beautifully. who i can say, look what He's done for me. who i just praise because He is who He is.

this journey to Mali is without a doubt the boldest thing i've ever done, and i'm so glad i didn't look back and go to my comfort zone, to where the world was saying i was safe and belonged. oh am i ever so happy that God is teaching me things and revealing Himself to me in new ways. that i'm learning just how much He loves me. really loves me. how beautiful He is and how there is nothing to fear when He is with me. and i mean nothing. how the nisondiya of Yesu is my strength. the power of the joy i have in Jesus is more than anything that could ever come against me.

He truly is all i will ever need.

i’m so glad i learned to trust Thee,
precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
and i know that Thou art with me,
wilt be with me to the end.
-- to trust and obey