I heart Mali

How am I homesick for a place I've never been to? A place I've never seen with my own eyes?

I'm not sure myself.

Mali - you have my heart. You're taking it slowly, piece by piece, and somehow I know I'll never get it back to its former state.

When I see a picture of you, my eyes fill up with tears. Happy tears and sad tears. Tears because I long to be there with you. Tears because my life will never be the same once I am.

I didn't really know that you existed before this year, yet somehow you've always existed in my heart. GOD reserved a place for you, because He knew I'd need it - a BIG space at that. He knew that at 22 I'd give everything over to Him and allow Him to send me to you.

GOD has given me a burden for you. I asked for it, and I've allowed Him to flood my heart with your story, your people, your heartbeat. Your beauty is unlike anything I've experienced before.

I can't wait to smell the dirt, to see the Niger River. To experience the feel of camel's fur between my fingers. To cry with you, and love on you, and tell you how He can change your life - forever.

I cannot tell you why my thoughts are consumed with you, or why I feel a certain way about the question "what are you going to do when you get back from there?". I hope I never have to leave you.

When I think of times when I was a little girl, I can see how everything led to you and to Him sending me to you. It's incredible. He's incredible. His plan is incredible.

He has immersed me in a river of Mali, West Africa. Ever since the night before my first African literature class, when I was introduced to you and the proposition was given to me to GO, I knew you were it. You were what I had been waiting for. What I had been asking for for years. For the next few months my professor in African Literature class spoke nonstop about you. You were always singled out. Never did she speak about any other country (other than her own country) more than she did you. The stories I read about you - amazing. My favorite Disney movie - based on one of those stories about you. How could I ever doubt that He led me to you. It's plain and simple - He has orchestrated everything so that I couldn't miss you. So that I wouldn't want to miss you. So that I would feel like I was missing something major, something profound if I didn't say YES.

There is something GOD-speaking about me even agreeing. I said no so many times. SO MANY TIMES. There are other places I could go, other places I still want to go to, yet I'm saying YES to you, because GOD is saying GO THERE. He has something in store for me there, just like He did for Jonah in Nineveh. Jonah wanted to go to Tarshish, and he followed his wants. It didn't get him very far. Just in a heap of trouble and misery. I was also running from where He was telling me to go. Over and over again He whispered Africa. Africa was far beyond my comfort zone, far away from my safe dwelling. I almost arrived at Tarshish, but He allowed the whale to spit me onto to dry land. The dumbest mistake of my life was about to be made. I was just about to say YES to the world. But He spoke again, telling me, LOUDLY this time, "What I've shown you, GO".

So, with everything I am, I'm saying YES, LORD, I WILL GO WHERE YOU WANT ME TO. Even Africa - the least likely place EVER for me to have wanted to say YES to. I'm saying YES. YES to stepping beyond my comfort zone, past questioning eyes and discouraging thoughts. I'm stepping up to meet You, and stepping over those standing in my way. I'm not going to allow them to trip me up. I'm holding Your hand, and I'm gazing into Your glorious eyes, and I'm never letting go. You're holding me. With all I have I'm following You. Even to Mali.

Mali, the other day I found myself thinking about you again, and as doubt began to creep up in my mind, I passed our Church sign on the road, and get this, you'll never believe what was on it. CHOOSE TO BELIEVE.

Remember, He gave me a license plate not too long ago that said BELIEVE GOD.

He is just TOO awesome for words!! :))

Mali, I know without a shadow of a doubt that you are where I am supposed to be next year. He has shown me over, and over, and over again how you are IT. Faithfully, He has given you to me, and I embrace you with all I have within me. I'm ready. Flood my senses, Lord. Bring the rain and let it soak my life. I want everything you have to give to me. I'm making myself ready to receive, I'm putting myself in position to catch what You're giving to me.

At the end of this post, my eyes are tearing up again. But this time, it's because I'm in awe of Him and how He has given me this awesome opportunity, this amazing second chance to say YES and to follow Him where He is saying He is.

Everything within me cries out to You, Lord.

Thank you.