Memorial Box Monday (on a Tuesday)

I think you guys know what I'm talking about. Sometimes you just feel so unworthy of GOD. As people, we fail, miserably. But that's the wonderful thing about it. GOD is going to do everything. NOT you. We can't do it. We just can't. So when you feel incapable of what it is GOD is telling you to do, just know that you're supposed to feel incapable. If you felt capable, something would be wrong. GOD can give you a boldness and a confidence through Him, but it's only through Him.

"I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13.

People so often look at this verse as "I can do all things", but they forget to look at the second part of the verse, "through CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME." Yes, it is CHRIST who gives you the strength. Your strength, as you will find if you haven't already, fails you. It never fails to fail you.

But GOD can give you a strength that empowers you and gives you a boldness and a confidence that WITH HIM it is possible.

Sometimes I find myself asking, what am I doing going to Africa for a year? I can't do that. I just can't. But then I think of the One who told me to go. The One who planted a seed in my heart for missions ever since I was little girl. The same little girl who often told her Mom in church, "You know, I could be a missionary." The same little girl who asked for a different colored baby doll from Santa one Christmas and didn't care what people had to say about it, because she knew they needed love too. The same little girl who wished that every Sunday night ther would be a missionary at church. The same little girl that went to a youth camp the summer of sixth grade and felt so miserable when she didn't go up for the altar call when they asked everyone who felt called to missions to come forward. The same little girl that went home and wrote her friend a note in class two years later, asking "How do you know if you're called to be a missionary?". The same little girl who's eyes would tear up at the t.v. screen when stories of orphans would play across the screen. The same little girl that fought so hard against GOD, just like Jonah, and was about to make the dumbest mistake of her life by graduating college and living life like the world told her live. The same little girl that went to a Chi Alpha retreat and felt that same miserable feeling inside her until she went and asked the other missionary how she could GO, like GOD had told her to and give everything up to follow Him.

That little girl is me. February 27, 2010 was one of THE BEST days of my life. I finally gave in to what GOD had been telling me to do all my life. And it feels SO good. It feels so good just to revel in my Father's love for me. To know that He pursued me, relentlessly. He never gave up because He knew that what He had for me would be exactly what I wanted when I got it.

Thank you, Father, for never giving up on me.

Thank you for planting those seeds in my heart for missions so long ago.

Thank you for helping me to realize that through taking that job teaching next January in my hometown would have been relying on me, not You. I had it planned out. I could do that. I could make a way for myself, and hopefully marry a missionary and then adopt bazillions of kids. But that is not what You had for me. You're plan was WAY better :))

You said, GO. What I've shown You, GO. And I'm so glad that I listened and obeyed.

I know it is Tuesday, but I want to put this under Memorial Box Monday post. I have a picture of myself holding that little baby doll that I mentioned. That picture serves as a purpose to tell me, YES, God is faithful to do what He says He will do. What He plants in your heart, take hold of it and never let it go. He will work all things together for those that love Him. He never fails, people. Never. My GOD is faithful.

And for those of you who don't know what Memorial Box Monday is, please go visit Linny's blog.